Secrets to Getting Ex Back

Oh the horrors of a breakup!

There aren’t too many things a girl can live through that are that high up on the emotional trauma scale. At least that is the way I felt. I was devastated…until I figured out the secrets.

Intrigued yet?

These things that I’m about to share with you are little tricks that just might get that man back for you. Since I don’t know whether you are looking to reacquire an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, I am just going to call him Ex.

Anyway…you were looking for the secrets to getting Ex back, and I was about to share the tricks that worked for me.

The first of my secrets to getting Ex back was one that I had a hard time with for a while. It seems crazy and opposite of what your instincts are screaming.

Ready for it?

You sure?

…ignore him for a while.

Yes, you read that right. One of the secrets to getting Ex back is to NOT try to get him back, at least at first. There are a few reasons you should ignore him for a few days to a couple of weeks after a painful split.

·         First of all, you will no doubt be an emotional wreck at first, and sobbing females tend to trigger the flight or fight response in men. When you’re still in the sobbing uncontrollably phase, talk to girls…they handle it much better, and usually offer chocolate.

·         You need to give Ex time to cool off, too. He may not be sobbing and incoherent, but he is probably angry. It is the emotion that men do best, and he probably won’t listen to reason until some of the sting eases on his poor little pride.

·         Another reason avoiding him is on the list of secrets to getting Ex back is so that you can have some time to plan and strategize. “All is fair in love and war”…and you want to win.

·         The final and most fun reason to avoid all contact is to leave him wondering what you’re up to. He will catch himself missing you and hoping you aren’t out with another man. A little bit of healthy jealousy can be a good thing in certain situations.

Once you’re past the worst of the tears, and can hold an adult conversation without breaking down, you’re ready for that first meeting. Hopefully by then his curiosity is piqued.

A valuable tip, and one of the secrets to getting Ex back, is to make sure that first meeting has just the right atmosphere. You want to find that perfect middle ground of quiet and alone, without being intimate.

No, not that way! Intimate in this case means you don’t want a place that’s too romantic or put too much pressure on him. Skip the fancy restaurant with the mood lighting.

One of the secrets to getting Ex back is finding the perfect location. Here are a few tips.

·         You need to avoid places that are too quiet and require you to face each other. At the same time, a movie or concert is not likely to inspire much serious discussion.

·         He may be leery of meeting with you…low-key and casual is a must.

·         Don’t pick a place where you’ll have to drive a long way. Together or separate, the drive will be torturous for both of you.

A walk along the beach or in a park is a great place to work the magic of the secrets to getting Ex back. You aren’t dealing with the pressure of staring into each other’s eyes. Men also tend to talk more when they can amble along, looking at the ground instead of sitting on the spot.

Here’s a tip for getting him to agree to this meeting.

Make sure you tell him you just want a quick chat. Men are afraid of long serious talks…and chat is a less threatening word. Ask calmly and be friendly…and keep it short and sweet. If he says yes, don’t launch into your speeches just yet. Say thanks and hang up.

Once you make it to “the first meeting” you are ready to employ another of the secrets to getting Ex back.

Stay calm.

Keep things simple and light-hearted. Let him know you regret the mistakes of the past, and that you take at least some responsibility for what happened (this is NO time for pride…swallow it now).

Stay calm.

Tell him that you miss him and would love another chance to work on things. Ask to start slow, and see what might happen from there.

Stay calm.

Leave it friendly and light…so that when he thinks of you tonight, the last image is a positive one.

Did you notice the trend in STAYING CALM? I hope so, because it is probably the most important of any of the secrets to getting Ex back.

Men respond well to calm. They do not respond well to hysterics.

If you can keep your cool and stay patient, then you should be well on your way to getting your ex back!